STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, AND WORDS WILL HURT ME TOO
I think the person who came up with the quote “sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me” was an emotional manipulator who told this to his victims so they would accept his perverse tongue… And somehow it became a common saying of society; for parents to teach their kids. But why? Why are we teaching our kids that words mean nothing, when the BIBLE says quite the opposite? Ah, yes, because it’s a classic way of the world and Satan’s plan to teach people to sin and turn them against God…
Any type of words that come out of our mouths are SLANDER… When I first seen that word, it made me think of the word slaughter. After looking it up, I found out that it pretty much IS slaughter – of a person’s character. The real definition from the Oxford Dictionary is: “a false report maliciously uttered to a person’s injury.”
When we maliciously utter statements about another, we’re not only slaughtering their character, but our own, and Christ’s. Some of the ways we do this is through slandering friends, our family, strangers, and ourself.
WHEN WE SLANDER OUR FRIENDS
When we slander our friends, whether it be to their face or behind their backs, we must question our motives for doing so. Most people would qualify themselves as nice people, but most people slander their friends behind their backs. This could either stem from learning it from others around us, or it could stem from bitterness. Either way, as adults, we must know better and do better. And as adults who would identify as Christians, we must definitely do better, or else we slander the name of Jesus every time we slander others.
Slandering our friends does nothing to further or grow relationships. Slandering our friends is not of the Father’s will.
If we have nothing nice to say about them behind their back, then why are we friends with them? And if we have nothing nice to say to their face, maybe it’s time we move on from the “friendship.”
WHEN WE SLANDER OUR FAMILY
“Honour thy father and thy mother,” the fifth commandment says. This is not to be taken lightly. God tells us to honour our parents because they are the head of the house. God chose them, specifically, to be our parents. Though we may disagree with them on some (perhaps all) topics, we must still respect them. Especially as Christians, if we do not respect our earthly father and mother, how are we to ever respect our Heavenly Father?
The same goes for our siblings. If we can’t love our earthly sisters and brothers, how are we to ever respect our brothers and sisters in Christ?
When we slander our family, it pulls everyone apart. Satan wants the core of the family unit to be under tension so that it’s easier to attack. The family unit is a powerful and mighty tool the Lord uses to further His Kingdom and work. But if it’s being attacked from within, it can no longer help God, but instead further Satan’s plans.
Satan wants children and parents to be at war; he wants brother and sister to hate each other; he wants husband and wife to bicker and slander each other.
Remember this the next time you feel the urge to slice and cut your family with evil, slanderous words: the weak family furthers Satan’s plans; but the strong family unit furthers God’s Kingdom.
WHEN WE SLANDER STRANGERS
Slander isn’t always speaking out loud. You could slander in your thoughts too. That snide comment you thought about the “half-dressed” girl? Slander. The rude remark you thought about the mom with the disobedient son? Slander. The hideous thought about the homeless person, the troubled looking teen, the one with tattoos and piercings and coloured hair? Slander.
I came across this quote that reads: “Every person you see is someone that Jesus chose to die for. Remember that.” We are all God’s children and we are all created in His image. We must remember this and we must not allow our “righteousness” to become pride. The Lord sees the heart, not the outward look of people. We must remember to do the same. We can’t see someone’s heart through the way they look on the outside, thus, we must not slander. We must be kind to each and every one of God’s children (Proverbs 19:17, Zechariah 7:10, Luke 6:30, James 1:27).
WHEN WE SLANDER OURSELVES
When we have been beaten down, trampled on, and left all alone, we start to believe that nobody loves us and that nobody ever will… This is where the grace of God can lift us up. This is where we need to know that we are always welcomed and loved by Jesus. His grace accepts us for who we are, and helps us become all that we can be.
Instead of slandering ourselves — putting ourselves down deeper in the hole of pity — we need to look to Jesus to remind ourselves who we are. Once we know who we are, we can and should allow ourselves grace, just as Jesus does. When we know we are children of the living God, we do not need to wallow in our shame and misery any longer. We can break free from the slander and hate, and walk in step with our identity in Christ and Christ alone.
A SOOTHING TONGUE & GRACIOUS WORDS HEAL THE BODY
Our tongues could be used for good and they could be used for bad. Anybody who has been verbally abused will tell you that our tongues can definitely be used as a weapon. The old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” should be officially considered outdated. Words can and do hurt. They can crush one’s spirit and break one’s heart. And as Christians, if we don’t have a tight rein on our tongues (James 1:26 NIV), how can we ever expect to lead people to Jesus?
We are called to speak soothing words (Proverbs 15:4 NIV); gracious words (Proverbs 16:24 NIV); kind words.
Every time I think of how to be a kind Christian, I think of this quote by Candace Cameron Bure, in her book titled Kind Is The New Classy,
“God may be calling you to be the only Christian in the room, so that others will get a chance to meet one for themselves and meet Jesus through you. You may be the only interaction with a Christian they’ll get.”
We may be the only person someone comes into contact with, that is shining Jesus’ light. We may be the only one who can impact another with God’s amazing grace. We may be the only one who stays silent during gossip or who purposely turns away or changes the subject. We may be the only one who doesn’t judge others. We may be the only one who speaks soothing words about others rather than slanderous ones. We may be the only Christian someone comes into contact with in their lifetime, so we better make sure we’re doing a good job for Christ’s Kingdom.
Every single time we open our mouths, our motivation must be: How best can we represent Jesus?
If you enjoyed the information here, you can read more in my book where I speak more on this topic:
