Bitter Roots
Bitterness has taken root,
breaking through the walls of her heart.
It grabs hold, planting itself there permanently.
Anger, resentment and hate
have been the causes of this bitterness
And revenge is beginning to bloom.
This bitterness is like a parasite;
Like a sickness or disease;
Like a poison invading her soul.
These bitter roots are holding her captive
They’re planting her in the wasteland;
They’re not allowing her to forgive and forget.
Will she ever be able to heal?
Will she ever be happy or joyful?
Will she ever be free again?
“Time will heal me,” she says,
“Soon the bitterness will go away.
Soon I will forgive, but never will I forget.”
But she is wrong.
Time cannot heal her wounds
Only the restoring balm of God’s grace can do that.
Only God can deliver her
From her parasitic bitterness
For He wishes for her to be free.
Only God can help her
To forgive AND forget
For He has the power to wash the memories away.
God wants her to be free;
God wants her to be healed;
God wants her to have roots of grace.
He wishes for His grace
To take root in her heart
Instead of the bitter roots causing her harm.
His gracious roots would heal her;
They would bring breath and life
And a garden of fruits for her spirit.
But will she accept this new fate?
Will she surrender her pain to the Healer?
Will she allow her heart and soul the breath and life she righteously deserves?
Will she break free from the wasteland?
Will she allow herself to grow in the love of Christ?
Will she allow His grace to take root?
Will she allow her bitter roots to be healed?
We have all been this flower before. Perhaps, you are her right now… Perhaps you are filled with bitterness, anger, resentment, hate. Perhaps you are thinking time will eventually heal you. Perhaps you think you’ll forgive one day, but Heaven forbid you forget. Perhaps you dream of the day you will be healed fully; filled with love, kindness, grace and mercy. Perhaps you dream of the day you won’t be a flower in a wasteland anymore and instead be a beautifully bloomed flower in the Garden of Eden…
Bitterness, Anger, Resentment, Hate
Bitterness is easy. It’s what weak people allow to happen TO them. Letting go of that bitterness is what strong people do. It’s what strong people CHOOSE for themselves — and others…
Why others? Because that bitterness can root itself so deep into your heart and soul, that you are now run BY that bitterness. You see, hear, feel and think with that bitterness as a filter. You become a pessimist. You become hardened and mean. So yes, that bitterness YOU feel can hurt OTHERS, because you will inevitably become the bitterness. It will overpower you and begin to plot its revenge against the world…
In reality, this bitterness has formed because we believe we are better than others… We believe we deserve the utmost treatment at all times. We forget that EVERYBODY is inherently evil; everybody sins; everybody is far from perfect. That everybody includes US.
If we are angry, hurt, or resentful because of another’s sin, we must hate their sin, not them. We must divide the two.
This type of thinking ends you up in the wasteland of lost souls, where your soul is lost, too.
Time Will Heal Me
LIE.
A GIANT LIE.
NEVER TO BE TRUE.
I almost believe it’s the opposite… That time makes the bitterness and resentment worse. Because it festers and festers and adds on to and never ends. Because you are filtering everything that person does through your previous bitterness towards them. And now, seemingly harmless words said and action done are now AGAINST you, because you’re filtering it through that already deep seated bitterness… Because, SURPRISE, time does not heal you…
Recently I lost my cat. And you might think sarcastically, “Oh wow, your cat. Big loss.” But it was a big loss. She was my best friend and unknowingly my emotional support animal. She was my everything, and in losing her, I lost myself.
I was told many times, “It will get better with time.” But the more time went on, the worse I got. The first month I was relying on God and His grace and promises. The next I was drinking and quickly becoming an alcoholic — to which I drank every day for the next 6 months.
Time made my grief worse. It made my bitterness worse, too. I was bitter against God, myself and the veterinarians. I was bitter against the world and everybody who didn’t even send their sympathies. And it wasn’t until I REPENTED AND PRAYED TO GOD, that GOD HEALED ME. GOD healed me. Not time.
God can heal us because God has the miracle gift of taking on our aches and pains. He has the miracle gift of allowing us wisdom into our pain. He has the miracle gift of pouring out His grace onto us so that we can be filled with grace, we can then pour onto others. He has the miracle gift of forgiving and forgetting our transgressions against Him (me becoming an alcoholic and not being sober as He calls us to do, or sinning in our bitterness towards others) which in turn helps us to realize the power of forgiving and forgetting others transgressions against us.
I Will Forgive, But Never Will I Forget
Christians are called to forgive AND FORGET. The reason is because if we’re not forgetting, we’re not living in grace and mercy and kindness. If we don’t forget, then we’re rooting that transgression in our heart against that person. If we don’t forget, we will subconsciously hold resentment against said person.
This is why Christians are called to forgive AND FORGET. We are called to ask God to wash our minds — our memories — so we can live in grace, mercy, kindness and love towards every body.
For if we don’t forget, we’re no better than an unbeliever in Christ.
As Christians, we’re called to be like Christ. And we can’t ever reach that potential if we don’t ever forgive and forget. We can’t be like Christ if we’re not allowing His grace to reach others sins…
If God can forgive and forget your sins against Him, He can forgive and forget others sins as well. So, if God has forgiven and forgotten someone else’s sins against you, YOU can forgive and forget their sins against you. For if you do not, you are not being the disciple Christ has called you to be.
God’s grace is sufficient enough for ALL.
God’s Gracious Roots Produce Fruits
This world is already filled with enough people who are full of bitterness, resentment, and hatred. There’s no need for more. Thus, we must allow God’s grace to root itself within us and take over the bitterness evading our souls.
Just as Mr. Altrogge said, God’s grace is a restoring balm.
His grace makes us realize the power that kindness holds. There is a power in being in control of your emotions. And WE can be in control when we allow GOD to ultimately be in control. When we accept His divine power, we consider that perhaps all of His teachings are right and true…
When we live more like Jesus — when we live with eternity in mind, and not just our own, but everyone else’s chance at eternity as well — we live more graciously and more willing to forgive.
When we root ourselves to the grace of God; when we plant ourselves on His firm foundation; when we allow His living water to flow through us, we will produce SWEET fruits: the sweetest fruits in this lifetime. That’s what God wants for us. And that’s what we should want for ourselves.
Last But Certainly Not Least
If you are feeling the detrimental weight of bitterness within your soul; if you’re feeling as though it has rooted itself so deep and has been festering for quite some time and you’re READY to instead be rooted to Christ — be rooted with God’s gracious roots… Then you must seriously ask yourself these questions…
Will YOU accept this new fate?
Will YOU surrender your pain to the Healer?
Will YOU allow your heart and soul the breath and life you righteously deserve?
Will YOU break free from the wasteland?
Will YOU allow yourself to grow in the love of Christ?
Will YOU allow His grace to take root?
Will YOU allow your bitter roots to be healed?
If YOU have answered YES to all of these questions, say this prayer with me:
Dear Lord,
Thank You for guiding me towards this blog post today. Thank You for allowing me this moment to consider my flaws and the desire to change. Lord, I repent of my sins [say specific sins you want to apologize for] — I repent, meaning I apologize for and consciously wish to turn away from said sins in the future. Lord, please forgive me for my many sins against You. Please forgive me for the bitterness I have harboured against [person’s name] and have allowed to fester over time. Please forgive AND FORGET. And help me to forgive AND FORGET as well.
May the blood of Jesus Christ wash me clean and may the Holy Spirit renew my mind. May Your grace and mercy wash over me, transforming my bitter roots into Your gracious ones: allowing me to heal and bloom with love and kindness.
Thank You Lord for listening to my prayer. May this be the moment I turn from all the lies and follow Your truth.
In Jesus’ Holy name. Amen.
If you enjoyed the poetry at the beginning of this blog, you can read more in my book ‘She’s A Flower In A Wasteland’
